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Brandie and Mary's Oldies


Top Ten Oldies (not yet finalized - in other words, we're very fickle)


Brandie and Mary (that would be us) have a serious theory about life. Now, sophmore year at our high school, we are forced to discover what it means to be human:

This has nothing to do with the true mystery of life.

Then, if you will be kind enough to read "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams, you will learn that the answer to life, the universe, and everything, is 42.

Close, but no cigar.

After discovering 42, it is suggested that we, as intelligent life everywhere, do not truly comprehend the question. Continuing the Hitch Hiker's inaptly named trilogy to "Life, The Universe, and Everything" you will be surprised to learn that the question of the mystery of life is "What is six multiplied by nine?"

Poor, deluded Mr. Adams. While he writes wonderful books, he is unwittingly confusing thousands, if not millions, of people and leading them astray from our true purpose on this Earth. Now, you may say that we (Brandie and Mary) are wrong. You may say we (Mary and Brandie) are obsessive. Even a few sandwiches short of...of...a few sandwiches in a basket. BUT, here is our theory. Laugh if you will, but we have seen it work too many times to doubt it.

For every possible situation or event, there is an oldies song or slight variation on one to fit the situation

Not quite what you were expecting was it? Not good enough for you? Hmmm? What did you expect, some crap like the Golden Rule? Sheesh, we're teenaged girls, but we're not quite angst-y enough to get that deep! Gees...expecting to get the mystery of life of a web page...probably fell for that Heaven's Gate crap too...
Also, before you laugh and scoff at our Theory too much, please remember the following restrictions:

  1. Looking for a situation will not work. The Theory deals with spontaneous outbursts only.
  2. It is our humble duty on this Earth to listen to as many oldies as possible in order to increase this frequency.
  3. The Theory works best if you have someone else to share them with, or better yet, a psychic mind link with them (Trust us on this one...)
  4. If absolutely neccessary, you may use a song from another time period to fit the rule. But it must be obscure.
Thank you for your time! Please, send us any comments, questions, or large sums of money using the e-mail addresses below! Just pick one...
E-mail Mary at school or at home, depending on the time of year you read this.
E-mail Brandie at school.
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